If any of you were the first in your group of friend to get married or have kids, you can relate. It is almost as if as soon as one of those life events happen you are jettisoned to a different "planet" for that phase of life. All of a sudden your group of friends don't want to hang out because the spouse wants to be included, or they think you might (and rightly so) be too busy with your kids. Next thing you know, you are left to go it alone until your friends can "catch up".
I often times think to myself "How come no one ever told me making good friends after reaching adulthood would be so hard?"
And so without further ado, here is
Things that Clog the Mind from Clarity of Mind and Life.
All of my life I have had random thoughts and feelings of
inferiority. I’ve never felt quite good enough. Never felt I had
enough to offer people. Always missing… something. Lately this evil
lil minion of self doubt has been prancing around the living space in my
head.
I’m older. I’ve learned that as I age, the friends in my life have dwindled. A lot. I try to make new friends.. and it never seems to work. I have people in my life that I love, dearly. But, they are so so far away. Life just does that, ya know? Moves you and others around and around in a whirlwind of events that can leave us all misplaced. We set our roots when we finally land… and the people who were there along the way end up wayyyy over there. Its just life. And I accept that.
I feel that this ebb and flow is constantly fighting against me. I miss having friends. I miss having a social life. I have moments when I am reminded of its like to be social. And I miss it. Life’s obligations, family, work, dishes, laundry.. everything.. its drains me and I’ve lost myself along the way. I miss having a strong sense of who I am and loving myself.
It feels like I annoy those around me. Like, right now, I’m at work and there are people all around me. I’m usually quite friendly, but lately it feels like I’m just getting on peoples nerves. I have tried over the past year to pay close attention to how I am perceived by others. Trying to pick apart how I come off.. how people react to me being based on my mood. I often wonder if I try too hard? Or expect too much from others? All I want is to make friends, and I seem to just bug people. How do you get past that? I miss the days when I didn’t care about the opinion of others, but this seems to be a pattern. I make a friend, start incorporating them into my life, only for the friend to suddenly disappear. Is it me? Or is it just that ebb and flow?
Days like this I wish I didn’t think so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, comments, questions, feedback, and suggestions are always welcome. Please remember to follow the blog and register your email at the top of the page to have new posts delivered directly to your email inbox and never miss an update.
Also please check out the new blog by my friend, Clarity of Mind and Life. She gives herself a hard time but she is actually a decent writer and one of the most 'real' people out there. :)
I’m older. I’ve learned that as I age, the friends in my life have dwindled. A lot. I try to make new friends.. and it never seems to work. I have people in my life that I love, dearly. But, they are so so far away. Life just does that, ya know? Moves you and others around and around in a whirlwind of events that can leave us all misplaced. We set our roots when we finally land… and the people who were there along the way end up wayyyy over there. Its just life. And I accept that.
I feel that this ebb and flow is constantly fighting against me. I miss having friends. I miss having a social life. I have moments when I am reminded of its like to be social. And I miss it. Life’s obligations, family, work, dishes, laundry.. everything.. its drains me and I’ve lost myself along the way. I miss having a strong sense of who I am and loving myself.
It feels like I annoy those around me. Like, right now, I’m at work and there are people all around me. I’m usually quite friendly, but lately it feels like I’m just getting on peoples nerves. I have tried over the past year to pay close attention to how I am perceived by others. Trying to pick apart how I come off.. how people react to me being based on my mood. I often wonder if I try too hard? Or expect too much from others? All I want is to make friends, and I seem to just bug people. How do you get past that? I miss the days when I didn’t care about the opinion of others, but this seems to be a pattern. I make a friend, start incorporating them into my life, only for the friend to suddenly disappear. Is it me? Or is it just that ebb and flow?
Days like this I wish I didn’t think so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, comments, questions, feedback, and suggestions are always welcome. Please remember to follow the blog and register your email at the top of the page to have new posts delivered directly to your email inbox and never miss an update.
Also please check out the new blog by my friend, Clarity of Mind and Life. She gives herself a hard time but she is actually a decent writer and one of the most 'real' people out there. :)
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